Notice: The adventures of the Mighty Morphing Foundation Agents (MMFA) is a series that ran during the non-canon April Fool's Day of the year 2010 (and hopefully, in the years to come). The events that follow are in no way guaranteed to be remotely canon and this story is to be read for entertainment purposes only. Also, the story version has a few tweaks here and there to improve the narrative and story. With that said, enjoy.
Abstract: It is another typical day for the Foundation personnel stationed in Site 23 until their day was interrupted by a containment breach by an angry SCP-076-2!!
Chapter 01 - SPARKLES!
MacKay's at the desk in the waiting room at Medical, with a plate of brownies beside him. The brownies smell right, but with his taste buds still shot, he's not really in the mood for them. Meanwhile, Agent Nioki is in the practice room, swinging away at combat dummies. One of the new transfers, Agent Exuro, is drawn to the waiting room by the smell of brownies.
MacKay looks up as Exuro walks into Medical, and smiles to the man. "Good day, can I help you?"
"I smelled brownies and couldn't help myself." Agent Exuro replies, looking around embarrassed.
"I understand. I felt in the mood to bake, even though I can't hardly taste anything right now." MacKay nods, "If you'd like one, feel free."
Exuro takes a brownie from the plate. "Oooh, thanks. Now, I have to go take care of something. Later, and thanks again. Always available to eat."
"I'll remember that, when I'm in the mood to cook again. Take care." MacKay smiles and nods at the disappearing figure.
Suddenly, the tranquility of the site is broken by the blaring of alarms!
*BLEEP* *BLEEP* *BLEEP* BLEEP*
Every room, hallway, and corridor is filled with eardrum-damaging ringing and sirens while a panicked voice comes on the speakers shouting "WARNING! SECURITY LOCKDOWN! SECURITY LOCKDOWN!"
Agent Exuro looks up from examining the brownie to make sure it wasn't laxative-laced and sighs. "Awww, not again." He's reminded of the false alarm from a couple of days ago that locked him in the shooting range for a long time.
"SCP-076-2 HAS BREACHED CONTAINMENT IN SECTOR 76, ALL NON-COMBATANT PERSONNEL ARE TO EVACUATE THE SITE"
Agent Nioki stops hitting dummies, grabs his shirt, and runs for the cafeteria arriving shortly after while struggling into his shirt. Agent Harley leaps to his feet and runs to the cafeteria. And finally, Exuro pops into the cafeteria, having ducked by his room to get his firearms.
"ALL AVAILABLE COMBAT PERSONNEL ARE TO REPORT TO THE CAFETERIA"
And shortly following the announcment, *BOOM!!!!* The entire site starts shaking because of a tremendous explosion. *BOOM* More explosions rock the site. Researchers and staff are all scrambling around and screaming as they try to get away from the explosions as much as possible. By the time the agents reach the cafeteria, the room is completely empty save for the ones who just came in.
*BLEEP* *BLEEP* *BLEEP* *BLEEP* The alarms continue blaring loudly.
Exuro looks around the cafeteria, noting that it is empty save for the three that just came in. "…Well, this sure is great, eh?"
But as Exuro and the others realize, the cafeteria was not only devoid of personnel but for some reason, devoid of any furniture too…except for a podium at the front where the food is usually served. *KABOOM* Another explosion shakes the site, and then suddenly, the room goes dark. Exuro tenses his grip on his MP5, waiting to get disemboweled by a terrible something while unlike Exuro, Harley stays calm, relaxed, and standing behind the other two.
A spotlight appears and shines its light on the podium where a tall thin man in a forest-green Italian suit is standing at the podium, with his back to the agents. He spins in place three times with his arms (and cane) outstretched before stopping himself to face the group.
"HELLO AGENTS." his voice booms as *BOOM*, another explosion rocks the site. "Let's keep this short since this is an emergency. My name is O5 Ten-Four. You may call me Mister Ten-Four or Sir, and I am here because of the emergency situation and you're the only ones who can help."
"What, exactly, is this emergency?" Nioki calmly asks the stranger.
"You see, as you can tell, SCP-076-2 or 'Able', has broken containment and is destroying the site," Ten-Four explains. "We are all but ready to activate the on-site nuke but we really don't want to destroy this place."
"…Right. And what would that entail?" Exuro asks while MacKay sneaks into the cafeteria and Blitz bursts in through the door behind him.
The mysterious green man grins. "You don't want to die in an instantaneous explosion, correct? Well, I have a solution to our little problem."
"You will take part in using some experimental technology that has been developed VERY secretly that virtually no-one knows about. It will grant you a tremendous amount of power that'll let you rescue this site from destruction," Ten-Four proclaims.
"Explosions. I thought Able only used… close and personal methods." Nioki mutters.
"And I thought Able was cooperative now…" Exuro chimes in.
"Okay, now that our 5 members are here, let us continue." Ten-Four snaps his fingers and mini-pedestals appear from the ground in front of each person. On the pedestal looks like some sort of large badge/wrist-watch.
"Well, that's convenient. And how long have we had a stage in here for?"
"In front of you are prototypes of Special Weapon X-94. They are advanced technological weapons of mass destruction that will let you be on even footing with little Able and his cybernetic future-weapons. Their function is simple: Strap one to your wrist and use the passphrase, and it'll lock onto your genetic code so that you'll be the permanent users of the device," Ten-Four explains excitedly. "Then it'll *ENHANCE* your bodily strength, speed, stamina, perception and whatever else!! You'll transcend to god-hood." He takes a deep breath before continuing.
The agents could just only look at each other in confusion in bewilderment.
"Cybernetic future-weapons? Able?"
"These weapons have been extensively tested to ensure that there are no detrimental side-effects to the user, so you'll be fine on the field. There's only just one catch."
"What's the catch?" Harley asks.
"Oh, just some paperwork you'll have to fill out later since you'll become official beta-testing labrats. Nothing complicated." He just handwaves in Harley's general direction as if to dismiss him.
"Now, PICK UP THE WEAPON X-94'S!!
"STRAP THEM ON!
"AND PUNCH THE AIR WHILE SCREAMING THE PASSPHRASE…'LOVEY DOVEY CHECHEN SPARKLES!!!'"
"…what." Nioki slowly picks his up, and straps it on. Best to play along with the crazy man. Exuro on the hand picks one up and just… stares at the man. Harley on the other hand, had other plans.
Ten-Four breaks out of his dramatic trance and looks down on Harley. "Hmm? Why not?" *BOOMBOOMBOOM* The explosions break the silence as if to echo Ten-Four's shock and surprise.
"To do so would dishonor my bond with the Captain," Harley says frankly.
The man starts to look a bit annoyed. "So…you're telling me that your bond with your Russkie captain is more important than say…a powerful new arm?" *BOOMBOOMBOOM* The explosions are starting to get more frequent.
Harley gazes off into the distance. "Captain…" Is that a blush on his cheeks? What. What is this. Now pink sakura flower petals start flying around Harley. "Oh, Captain…"
MacKay shakes his head at this from the sidelines then shrugs. "Okay, you talked me into it." Meanwhile, Exuro takes a good long look at his before strapping it to his wrist. The big Blitz warily stares at the device before another explosion in the site prompts him to put it on.
"My bond with the Captain is worth a million new arms!" Harley shouts from the bottom of his heart!.
Ten-Four frowns harder at Harley. "You don't want to save the site? Gain powers and transcend to god-hood?"
"The Captain would be disgusted with me if I said that horrible phrase!"
"Your Captain already knows about this. He's holding back Able right this moment! He'll be more disgusted if you don't hurry to his side with this new power!" Ten-Four argues dramatically. "DO IT FOR LOVE, AGENT HARLEY! FOR JUSTICE!" And then, another spotlight shines on Harley while more sakura petals fly around him!
"For great justice, already," MacKay grumbles.
"CAPTAIN! I WILL AID YOU IN YOUR HOUR OF NEED!" Harley grabs the X-94! He straps it to his wrist! "LOVEY DOVEY CHECHEN SPARKLES!"
MacKay reaches over and puts on the X-94, then recites "LOVEY DOVEY CHECKEN SPARKLES" while punching into the air. "This, sadly, is not the weirdest thing I have ever done. I've done Rocky Horror, in a corset and a negligee. Trust me."
"I'll take your word for it on that one." Nioki punches the air and shouts in his very, very loud voice, "LOVEY DOVEY CHECHEN SPARKLES!"
Exuro sighs before punching the air. "LOVEY DOVEY CHECKEN SPARKLES."
Blitz punches the air with his fist. "LOVEY DOVEY CHECHEN SPARKLES!" he booms.
And then…everybody TRANSFORMS!
A BRILLIANT FLASH OF LIGHT ENGULFS THE FIVE
LOTS OF SPARKLES AND FLYING COLOURED RIBBONS EVERYWHERE
THE SPARKLES EVOLVE INTO VARIOUS NAKED CHECHENS, RESURRECTED FROM THE DEAD PAST, FUTURE, AND PRESENT
THEY PRANCE AROUND, SLOWLY STRIPPING EACH OF THE FIVE AGENTS OF THEIR CLOTHING AND REPLACING IT WITH SOMETHING FABULOUS
AND A FRILLY MINI-SKIRT
THE MIGHTY MORPHING POWER AGENTS
THE FIVE AGENTS WITH…*ATTITUDE*